I hate Dad coming back from abroad. Why? Because he buys really bad gifts and it’s very fun without him. Last year I asked Dad for a puppy and I was looking forward to his return, but it turned out Dad bought me a dog doll ! Seriously! I meant a real, scary, big, biting dog to scare Mother so she would let me play in the Xbox – my best friend
This year my father bought everyone a notebook- the worst gift in the world! Mother offered us all – my little brother Ben (who by the way is a terrible baby and he wakes up the family three times a night), my nerd brother Tom and my stupid brother Tomas and of course me (the perfect Ron)- to write in our notebooks the experiences of our family. Mothe rather forced everyone to do it! Now you see why my diary is called a family diary instead of “The perfect Ron knows everything”!
Mother calls me to eat, I lie to her that I do homework.
Why? Mother cooks terribly. She says she will write in her journal bad things about all the people who insulted her that she cooks terrible (eg I).
Not that she had a diary like this and if she had one it’s name should be “The terrible recipes in history”! Sorry mom.
“Father is cooking today”! Mother yells and everyone hurries to the table.I’m so thirsty. The moment I drink my hot chocolate I spit everything into the sink and start coughing. Apparently Dad did not make us hot chocolate and I drank from my mother’s coffee! What a shame!
“If you were as smart as me you would have noticed that there was no hot chocolate”, Tom says. Shut up, I tell him. Ben Ben starts yelling “Shut up” enthusiastically. Mom and Dad are angry at me and tell me not to say bad words
during a meal.
“By the way, we are going to visit Grandma Rose in India the day after tomorrow”.
What! I say
What! Tom says
What! Says Thomas
What! Ben Ben whines
What! Father says
Father himself did not know! And Mother smiled with satisfaction